Please stop!

Ok, here's how it goes.

I'm a dragon. I'm big, scary and breathe fire, even though it gives me heartburn.

I will ask you lot once, then I'm gonna come round, and never mind the big, bad wolf... I WILL burn your house down.

STOP buying Colin's books! I'm not even halfway through packing. I know all about his release next month. I thought I had time, but now you're all buying...oh, sorry, apparently the correct term is 'downloading,' his free prequel.

Here's the rub. I like the book. It has dragons! It even has Greens, though, as it's set thousands of years ago, I doubt they're Welsh.

Origins of the Never

Apparently it's also free, whatever that means. I normally just take what I want. Being a dragon, I can do that, but you squishies can't, obviously.

But please, give me a chance to pack. My portraits of Atlantean architecture won't even hang straight. Don't swell his head any more, I beg you.

Take pity on me, and I won't turn your houses to ash...deal?

Who doesn't love a little Horror?

It seems I have neglected a large number of you fleshy beings.

For some reason you have a need to read material that scares you. You are very odd people, do you realise that?

Anyway, while I don't understand it, I can cater to your needs. Behold a magnificent collection which will scare you out of your pink skins.

Authors' Cave eZine

A Science Fiction bonanza

I love a bit of sci-fi, whether it's a space opera romp, or pure, hard physics, I often lose myself within the pages of some of the greats like David Weber or Doug Dandridge.

So, imagine my delight when Colin's little group of human friends put this collection of sci-fi novels together, within this eZine (between you and I, I had to look up what and eZine was).

Authors Cave Science Fiction eZine

Battening down the hatches

Hello humans, especially you females.

I would dearly love to stay and entertain your fantasies about how we might...enjoy, each other's company. Unfortunately I have some pressing business.

I need to move out of Colin's head.

Don't panic! It's a temporary measure, just until he realises that his latest attempt to take the book world by storm is destined to failure.

He has another silly little book coming out at the end of March. Ok, Worlds of the Never looks good on paper(pardon the pun), and has dragons and magic re entering this mundane universe of yours, but are there any Welsh Greens? No, there aren't! He satisfies the masses needs, by writing about the pompous Golds and Silvers.

So, I have to vacate for a few weeks, taking my fine Ming dynasty china with me. Otherwise his swelling head will destroy the lot. I hope you enjoy it. I know I won't. Although New Zealand is lovely this time of year.

I wonder if Peter Jackson is still there? I need to talk to him about his portrayal of dragon behaviour. You humans get it so wrong sometimes

A little gift for you

We've been thinking, this human host and I, and we think we need to spread the word.

I mean, who doesn't want to know what goes on in an imaginary dragon's head?

To that end we have decided to run a little competition. Each subscriber to this blog will be entered into a draw to become a character in Colin's next book...though why you'd want to I don't know.

I will of course be accepting bribes of various sorts, from those of you who want to avoid the embarrassment of appearing  in a book about classic fantasy dragons. My word, the books have it so wrong.

Well, if I must!

If it were just for Colin's benefit I wouldn't entertain this foolish notion, but I can't penalise his friends for having poor taste.

And there is the fact that I do enjoy a good fantasy book. I must say that Colin has some gifted friends. There aren't nearly enough dragons in these books, but the imaginary worlds are enough to make an imaginary dragon homesick.

Being stuck inside Colin's head might be warm and cosy, and his imagination takes me all over the place, but I miss the Faerie realms where I grew up.

Authors Cave Fantasy eZine

Happy Female day, from Claude the imaginary dragon

Hello humans,

   It's come to my attention that today is World Woman's day. I'm not quite sure what this is so I asked Colin. He was his normal belligerent self(only sold a few books today, hence why my china is intact), but he did recommend something which might interest the ladies out there.

  It's a collection of romance novels. I must say I'm not a great reader of human literature, but these are actually quite good. It pains me to say this, but in this case, Colin is right.

  Happy Female day to all you humans!

Author's cave Romance eZine