I refuse to post until the picture of your darling children is removed and one of my magnificence is put in its place..,What? That's already been done? Hmph, well I should think so too. I do love your children, Colin, but I have a reputation to protect. Why are you laughing? Stop that!
Well, now that we're FINALLY ready <gives inside of Colin's head a hard stare>, then we can get down to work.
My name is Claude, and as you can see from MY profile picture, I am a dragon. And not just any old dragon. I'm a Welsh Green Ridgeback, the most refined of all dragon kind. Forget all those pompous golds and silvers, and frankly, stay away from blacks at all costs. No, we Greens have the greatest reputation for manners and taste among my race...WOULD YOU STOP LAUGHING, COLIN!
Now, where was I? Well, now I'm in charge things are going to change around here. No more of this silly book talk. I intend to share my life experiences, my cultured views and my many recipes for lamb and mutton. There are literally thousands of ways to skin a sheep, did you know that? And as for cooking, well did you know how versatile dragon flame is? I bet not.
But that's enough from me now. I have a pressing engagement with a mermaid off the coast of Perth, Australia and I can't be late. That would be rude.
Farewell my friends :)